Yesterday, we discussed the relationship bias model that helps new contacts drop their relational shields and engage in a meaningful professional dialog.
When a recruiter or hiring manager approaches a recruiting prospect, they’re subconsciously scanning to get the answers to two questions:
Can I trust you? and Can I respect you?
In addition to discovering these relational biases, the researchers learned something else important:
The questions have to be addressed in the right order.
While competence is highly valued, it can only be evaluated after trust is established.
If someone you’re trying to influence doesn’t trust you, you’re not going to get very far; in fact, you might even elicit suspicion because you come across as manipulative.
A warm, trustworthy person who is also strong…elicits admiration.
But only after you’ve established trust does your strength become a gift rather than a threat.
First, they need to determine if you’re trustworthy, and then they’re open to learning if you’re respectable.
This may seem like a subtle distinction, but it makes a big difference in the success rate of early-stage conversations.
It also explains why referrals are so helpful in the recruiting process. One of the quickest ways to build trust is getting introduced by someone the prospect already trusts.
There will be time later in the discussion to demonstrate your competence, but without building some initial trust you’ll never have that opportunity.