This week, we’ve been talking a lot about the importance of asking thoughtful, open-ended questions during your interactions with prospects.
Even if you’re committed to this best practice, you may still find that questions/answers don’t flow freely during the recruiting process.
Why? One reason is the “social costs” associated with answering questions.
Researchers at the University of Minnesota studied this topic and discovered what holds back individuals during these exchanges. Here are the top six in descending order of importance:
Indebtedness: It makes me feel that I need to reciprocate to the one providing answers to my questions.
Incompetence: It makes me feel inadequate or incompetent.
Effort: I feel it is not worth the time and effort to engage in this dialog (no payoff).
Control: I feel that it will influence my own opinions in a way I don’t want.
Self-image: I feel that it will incur negative judgments from you or others.
Self-confidence: I feel that it conveys a lack of confidence on my part.
As you reflect upon your interactions during the recruiting process, it’s helpful to recognize these issues are at play under the surface—especially during interactions with experienced agents.
If a person suddenly clams-up during a conversation, it’s a good indication they’re feeling one or more of these inhibitions.
At this juncture, ask yourself: Am I making this person feel ________________ with my questions? (ex. Am I making this person feel incompetent with my questions?)
A good conversationalist will sense inhibitions and pursue a different angel when they experience resistance.