At its core, good recruiting is about helping people improve. It’s a message of hope: Join my team and your life will get better. Here’s the problem: Most people are defensive when they hear a self-improvement message. Why? Researchers at Penn say it’s related to self-image. People are generally, fundamentally, motivated to feel good about themselves. And they’ll fight against these threats to maintain this kind of positive outlook. When you say: Let me help you. They think: I don’t have problems, why are you trying to help me? To sidestep this relational pothole, the researchers suggest priming the requests for change with preliminary messages of kindness and compassion. They found that sending someone a simple “Hope you’re having a great day!” text in the morning causes the recipient to be much more open to the self-improvement requests later in the day. This happens because it puts the recipients of your messages into a transcendent state of mind. …when we’re feeling more transcendent, our defensiveness fades away and we’re more likely to act on good advice. The messages of kindness and compassion include topics such as gratitude (I appreciate this about you), noticing others (I like this about you), and consideration (I hope this works out for you). Take the time to prime the recruiting pump and your results will improve.